Wednesday, January 6, 2010
A Place Of Extremes
This entry has been on my mind for about a month and a half now, finally time (and mood) to get it down. I spent the last 3 weeks of December on the west coast with my husband and our daughter celebrating Christmas and New Years with family and friends. As soon as I left Yellowknife I knew I would not want to come back, this scared me. I really began to dread having to come back here. I was fine, then I was not. As the holiday drew to a close I became increasingly depressed, I even cried new years eve, after midnight, because I could not say, "Happy New Year". The thoughts that dominated were,"I hate the cold, I hate the dark, why would anyone want to live here?". I am a fish out of water here. I enjoy 39 C with humidex. I returned to Yellowknife feeling homeless, as 5 months and much nesting failed to create the feeling of home for me. I dreaded seeing our place, our parking lot, and I wanted to quit my job, because I didn't want to see anyone. I wanted to hide in our place and just write. The book I am writing, however, is one that must be written from a healthy spiritual and emotional perspective. I was not feeling healthy, but, I believe in authenticity. I believe in utmost honesty, anything less is a lie, a false relationship to people and God. Through it all I have felt God encouraging me to feel what I feel, because only then can it be addressed. Only then can you come through. To let your mind preach religion to your heart will kill it. The Bible says that the heart is, "the wellspring of life". So if we kill our heart, we kill life. Allowing your heart, with all its passion, to live, is indeed painful at times, but I believe it must be allowed, otherwise you are already dead before you ever reach the grave. Why did I title this entry, "A Place Of Extremes"? I am trying to remember. Oh well, it'll come to me again.
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hi there,
ReplyDeletewow. i just read your whole blog. im glad i did. i bet your husband is an air force pilot. im in the third phase of flight training (multi). im trying to convince my wife to go out to Yellowknife so i can fly the twin otter. Im from ontario as well and have never been up north. I was thinking yellowknife would be a good choice for my wife as well. I hear it is easy to land a job if your swithed on- like my wife is. Is this true? even if she has an arts degree? anyways... i hope we are not being naive... your blog... you really know how to paint a picture. by the way im religious but she is not... any info you can give us would be much appreciated. please get back to us. thanks,
Hello :o)
ReplyDeleteYes, my husband is an RCAF pilot and he enjoys his job here, a lot depends on the people you end up working with. His first 2 years were challenging in that regard, but things have improved 100% in that area. For your wife it will be a different story. She can get a job easily, no guarantee of what kind will be available, but any job or volunteer work would be recommended for the express and primary reason that it will be potentially diverting for her and provide the potential for making friends and keeping her in a routine. Without that she may spiral for all the reasons I've written about. If you come here with a plan and stick to it, be regimented about it - but allow yourselves grace if you need it to get by, then you may navigate this posting well, come out ahead and maybe even like it. If you are on a strict financial plan you may save 50% of what you were actually hoping for, but many people leave here in greater debt than they came, unfortunately. Buying a house is expensive and everyone underestimates the cost of heat. Everything here is expensive, costs more (than down south), if it's even available. Women's clothing is not really available here (Reitmans, Marks Work Wearhouse and Walmart - yay!) so become experts in online shopping. Gap/Old Navy ship for free up here if you spend more than $50. There is also a Sears Catalogue outlet. I have to run, I'll write more later.
Magda