Monday, March 19, 2012

I Don't Want To Be An Astronaut

Well, it's been 5 months of winter and this week will mark the beginning of Spring. Unfortunately the only signs of Spring here, at this time, are the snowflakes falling (moisture is returning to the air) and the return of normal daylight hours. It is a balmy minus 15 Celsius today in Yellowknife. I have noticed a lethargy descend upon me over the last month, like my body has finally run out of the will to be mobile. Since during most of the winter outdoor mobility options are limited by severe temperatures and wind chill factor, my choices are hamster wheel type activity or swimming in the one available, inadequately heated and over chlorinated public pool. I might as well be living in outer space.


  1. Hi Magdalena.
    If I may be so bold to call upon you. Be not afraid of the space you live in. Be afraid of not living. God guides you only to where you must be. It is the inner most thoughts of eventuality that you can be free. I to wondered, why am I here? I know now. It is the knowing that I Know where I am. Think about this... God would only send you to a place where you can thrive. Thriving is not about wealth of cash and possession of things. It is about Knowing you are where you should be with the ones you LOVE. Do not be afraid of what is around you! Embrace everything in the way you want to be embraced. You only live once. Peace, long life and happy sex life is the key.

  2. Dear anonymous, thank you for taking the time to comment on my blog. I am glad you've found a sense of peace.
    For myself, my peace is in knowing God has a good plan for my life and in knowing He loves me deeply, no matter what. This does not mean that He won't allow hardship, or that we won't be touched by tragedy. Faith does not mean you must like the rock you happen to be standing on in your journey to the other side. Honesty with God is vital to a healthy heart and a real relationship with our Maker. Denial is a killer of the heart. If I'm standing knee deep in shit I'm going to wonder about it and dialogue with the Almighty about it. I recognize that God can use a crappy situation for good, in growing me, and He has, and I am grateful, but that does not mean I have to like it - and it does not mean it is a place of thriving, but of stripping away (more of Him and less of me!). I believe it is through the door of honesty about our heart's deepest feelings that we can then access the Divine answer to the cries of the heart. When the heart knows it is heard and loved just the same, it engages in the dance, only then will we experience true intimacy and fruitfulness. I have come through, God having heard my cries and answered them, He has set my feet in a spacious place and is wooing me in this new season. It is not in Yellowknife, but in a new geographical place, which also marks a new spiritual season. God causes all things to work together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. This does not mean we have to like all things and try to super-spiritualize them. Just be real. Jesus was. When He bled to death on the cross He was not thriving, He asked His Father, "Why have you forsaken Me?" (He knew why, but hey, I guess the Son of God also felt those nails and was delirious from pain eh?). Honesty and Hope. He endured it (not thrived) for the joy set before Him... and when it was time, God glorified Him, raised Him up.
    All the best to you!

  3. Hey! Why have you stopped bloging? I was looking at google Earth and I came across YellowKnife. So of course my first question was: who lives there!!!??? I googled on it and I found your blog. You have a very interesting way of narrating. You make that place sound a bit mysterious. Not that I wanna visit! :D but still, keep blogging if you have time for it. It might be a good way for you to process your thoughts. And also, it is interesting to hear how things are in far away places like YellowKnife. Your way of narrating makes life in YellowKnife sound like a movie scripts. It's like a quiet thriller in a desolate, cold place...

    1. Well thank you, your comment made me giggle, no, laugh out loud (quiet I did not stop blogging on purpose, just became pre-occupied with my growing toddler, my 7 year old, the drama of preparing for a move out of Yellowknife, the drama of the move and the drama of moving in (kind of a crazy move, like a comedy of errors only I didn't laugh too much at the time). Basically even after we left Yellowknife it kept biting us in the proverbial ass. I fully intend to add to/round off this Yellowknife blog, because there are questions I have asked and pondered about my experience there, that are being answered and have yet to be answered.

      So, to be continued...


  4. Hi there. This is a different anonymous. I am looking to take a transfer to Yellowknife and am trying to decide if it is something I should do. I would be up there for 3 years which doesnt seem like a long time untill you are in frozen tundra and then it could feel like forever. reading your blog has given me some more confidence that it would be a good experience. I guess what I am asking is given what you know now would you have made the same decision. I guess what it comes down to is I am a big wuss and need reassurance that it would not be terrible to love there.

  5. Hello there 'different anonymous' :-)
    There are many factors that can impact each individual's experience in Yellowknife. I, personally, would have enjoyed those 3 years much more if I had stayed at home in Ontario. That said, I do not regret the experience of living in Yellowknife. Those may seem like contradictions at first, but they are not. Valuable life experience is usually not comfortable. It can be fun and it can be frustrating. People in Yellowknife try to keep busy. I should stress the value of finding community (church, sports team, volunteering with the Salvation Army etc). Hosting friends in your home is great, and people will appreciate it.
    I got to know myself more deeply, up there, and being a person of faith I also got to know God more deeply (read ranting blogs ha). I knew it was temporary, which has it's advantages... and some disadvantages. If you go, go with your heart open :-)

    Pray about it :-)

    I will be happy to answer any further questions you may have.

  6. Hi Magdalena,

    I am a wannabe romance writer wanting to set a series in a fictitious town near Great Bear Lake. I need some help with research on the day to day details and wondered if you would be prepared to help me.

  7. Hello,
    I am honored by your request, however I am unable to do the research, having moved back to Ontario (and I'm sorry I don't know Great Bear Lake). You might be able to get connected to some assistance through the Yellowknife public Library or Arts Councils. All the best in your endeavor!